Sunday, July 29, 2007 + 12:48 AM
im playing reversi now.
rematch! =)
this morning went to SCGS again.
lost to a sec1 kid =(
couldnt focus.cos of a tinge of
worry. plus there's someone
sitting there watching. it's
not wrong but even when im
drinking water in between sets
she's looking? makes me uneasy.
after that went to tamp. ate at
long john then went to watch
Invisible Target and Century.
get to see Shawn Yue on screen.
came home, bathed and went to
grandma's place. played fifa
with my cousin, and had some
small chat with the other brats.
2 sets to 2 =) draw!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007 + 8:17 PM
today's training was a killer. never had
such a strenuous workout in months.
all the court movements, suicides,
woah. from now on the thought of
tuesdays would make my stomach churn.
my legs gave way twice. totally lost
control cos of the strain. just fell
on the floor as if my legs dropped
off. moreover i slept at 1am last
night, totally exhausted. should
start sleeping early and train only
at most thrice a wk. with 1 day
of rest in between.
wanna start revision for promos
by this week. finally feeling
the sense of urgency and
desire to mug. no more late
nights. cos i know i'll be in
for some........ it's just
something bad in store ha.
100K. I need to resume my
work for God =)
Saturday, July 21, 2007 + 10:33 PM
woke up early this morning. couldnt
go back to sleep cos the pressure
was mounting. so i went to eat
and bathe, dad sent me to SCGS.
didnt really know the way, so i
had to trouble some students there.
got to the squash courts and got an
eye-opener. kids at a tender age are
already at that kind of standard.
awe-struck =/
waited for real long for our opponents
to come. then we had the match. Erich
took on the best guy, he lost quite
badly but couldnt be blamed. That guy's
boast shot seems unbeatable. plus it was
noticeable that towards the end he was
already cutting some slack. so Erich lost
3-0. Daniel's match also resulted in a
defeat. 3-0 too. My match came next.
1st set i went into set point, but
somehow or another i didnt finish
that guy off and he came from behind to
win 10-8. dammit. second set i won 9-5 i
think. but by then i was already fighting
for my life. third set he won too, and i
think it was quite a big difference.
concentration level decreased and couldn't
receive the serves. 4th and final set was
going quite well at first. then i started
to give away points as i couldnt deliver
shots that were close to the glass wall.
so it ended 3-1. the refereeing isnt as
well as i wanted it to be, got quite a few
hiccups here and there, as well as some
bad calls. i did a backhand volley during
receiving that dipped nicely to the
front right corner and dropped dead on the
nick but she called for "down". what the.
and she gets confused over who gets the point,
who serves from where. oh well. i lost
nonetheless and like i said i dont wanna
make excuses for myself. rayson's
opponent left before playing so it's
a walkover. overall, we lost 3-1.
i hope to get better by next wk.
went to eat at whitesands before
going home to bathe and set out
to Cine. fell asleep at home thus
i was late for 20 mins. my punishments,
were meted out painfully, but i shall not
say here =P
Gen left early cos her friend was
pissed or something im not sure.
so i left for home too. was feeling
feverish anyway. due to the exertion
from the "punishment" that added
on to the fatigue from the afternn.
going to the hospital tomorrow before
church. shall start on my hwk tmr
evening. oh and my mum didnt get
to see my civics tutor so it'll
have to take place during another day.
ahh heck i shall start on a little light
hwk now. dont give two hoots to the
throbing head.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 + 9:29 PM
had CL listening today.
quite alright i guess?
been very tired these few days.
sleep debts are accumulating =(
keep dozing off in lectures even
when i try my very best to stay
awake.
training was cancelled today
due to some people having Listening
at different timings. cos of the
diff languages. but i went home to
change and returned to school to
train on my own.
was in the middle of a match with
Erich when the PE teacher told us
that she had to close the courts.
and i dont think she's that fierce
and detestable! and first she frowned
cos we took 4 squash balls and she
said we should only use one. so i
laughed and apologized, saying
we needed more cos we were practising
our strokes and it would be tidious
to retrieve the ball after every
few shots. then i was just being
nice and she started to talk nicely.
went home and felt restless. didnt
do hwk so i played Oblivion on
XBox360 for a while before watching
Step Up again on DVD. those dance
steps are cool, i shall ask chessia
the hiphop dancer to teach me one day
when i make another trip to Temasek
Poly HAH.
oh and i heard jc students are ineligible
for October Intake. So im stuck at
whereever i am =/
AND SOMETHING IRKED ME ON MONDAY MORNING!
i woke up realising that i was still
wearing my diamond stud!
then i was searching frantically for
the transparent earsticks but couldnt
find 'em! so i took out the stud and
went to bathe and eat. left school without
sticking anything in. came home for awhile
after sch, realised the hole CLOSED!
GRRRRRRRRR. 2nd time, closed again =(
think i'll wait till after promos before
piercing. but i think i dont want to alr.
feel it's quite pointless actually.
so i shall never pierce again!
went to some place in SR to attend the
wake. havent been to SR for ages since
the Amaths tuition days. Where i would
alwaysssssssss be lateeeeeeeee and have
to rush down in a cab to Mrs. Liew's house
HA.
during the journey to the wake i had a
source of amusement =P okay i shan't
be so bad. i was once afraid of getting
lost too. i remember crying in Tampines
Mall when i was young? was watching
Power Rangers on the big screen during
those days and told my mum i would go
back into the restaurant later. after
watching awhile i realised it's an
episode i watched before. then i went
in search of my mum. thought they
went to Kenny Rogers but they were in
Tommy Romas or something. cried and
cried until someone brought me to
the information counter and voila
i was redeemed by my mum and sis
=P i feel stupid enough for posting
this so i shall not illicit the
dumb thoughts that were running
through my hollow skull during that
time =)
tommorrow gotta stay back to help
out for College Day. 2 precious
hours are gonna be wasted,i could
use that time to train!
Monday, July 16, 2007 + 12:10 AM
the weekends are over argggh.
but nvm i shall rmb PS Ed Silvoso's
"Love Mondays like you love Sundays"
=)))
today was fine, although i was
quite tired cos i slept at
2 and woke up around 8+.
couldnt go back to sleep after that.
went to Bugis and window-shopped
(UGP is a coool brand. and i've
set my eyes on a topman shirt)
before eating at Pasta Mania with
Gen. then went to expo for church.
had tribe meeting after that, then
went to PS to see ly's new
girl. haha. ya. sec2. the girl's
friends. no comments. let's just
say i hope they mature =X
went to whitesands. played Para
Para advanced mode. Failed at the
third dance DAMMIT! =( oh well
practise makes perfect. 3rd in
the rankings but it all counts
for nothing 'cos they reset it
everyday =/
tmr's a long day. afterwhich
im gng to flavian's for the
wake. i treat him as a brother
and hope he'll go through this
tough time and come out stronger.
you're in my prayers! OH AND SO
ARE THE FEW THAT ARE IN MY
PRAYER LOG BK! THOSE THAT
I ASKED TO BE IN THE 100K!
=) =) =)
and thankyou huiying for teaching
me how to put up that box. 4th Aug
right i rmb =D
__ today i surrendered it all.
i let go despite of the fact
that i might never get it back.
obedience is the only way i can
be close to Him. these things
should not stand between me and
the One. I allow him to do His
Will from now on, without me
interferring. if it's meant
to be, it'll eventually be.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007 + 6:09 PM
4Us, 1A and 1E.
suddenly, acing in Promos
seem like something distant.
but i'll work hard in the
coming 11 weeks. Have started
to pay attention in lectures
and tutorials.
Didnt speak as well as i wanted
for CL A Lvl Oral today. Passage
was fine, conversation component
was fried.
Squash training is increasing
to twice a week. Tuesday is
concentrated on physical
conditioning and drills.
On thurdays coach is coming
to fine tune our strokes.
Finished the ExCo
hand-over video in school
just now. We'll soon be in
charge. In possession
of the squash shack keys
now. 12 rackets, 15 balls.
Heard that they're
pulling out of the squash
league. I wanted to
participate so badly to
gain experience before
next year's Nationals.
Shall begin to play my
part in the 100K campaign
soon. Hope that i'll be
able to find 20.
Granddad was discharged for
quite some time already.
Doing fine but i can see
that he has lost alot of
weight. The robust frame
is now fragile and haggard.
But i continue to
believe he's gonna be
alright. I've seen one
walk away from me. I
don't want a double blow.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007 + 8:53 PM
sorry about the previous
video post. i was just
feeling angsty and
vented it out.
truth is, i havent totally
gotten over it.
why?
up till today, i can't
comprehend why you wouldn't
allow me to see your past.
feel your hurt. and walk
out of it tgt with you.
being too nice sounds
quite like an excuse
to me. i think the
root of the problem is
that you havent completely
got over what haunts you.
that guilt you have is
the consequence of that.
i know i had committed
mistakes too.im accountable
for half of the blame.
i skipped steps in the
courtship when i was
well aware i wasnt supposed
to, rushing things through.
at a point of time i
even had an intention of
putting you above Him.
As a result,im punished.
I came to realise there
were underlying problems
between us and it hit me
abruptly. Just when i
thought things were going
fine, it ended.
i asked for forgiveness
and comfort. i told
Him if i were given a
second chance, i would
do it His way. I prayed
that by Friday, if He
spoke to you and touched
you deep within,and if you
start talking to me again
on Friday, you are the one
He has chosen for me.
Even if so, I'll wait
until you say that you're
completely restored and
healed before I do anything.
Any other girl, I would have
walked on, forget everything,
become cold and start locking
myself inside.
The reason im willing to
do this even after the hurt
is because i do believe
i saw signs that you're
the one. but i cant be
sure and i won't make
assumptions. If He says
no, i shall be obedient
and let go, for holding
on does not do good nor
edify.
you didnt know how much
i tried to know more of
your past. your blog
archives, your previous
blog that you shut down,
i read all i could.
just to find a way to
get inside. not for
personal benefit of
digging out your secrets.
but just to try to find
a way to help.
you're not who i
thought you were,
because you
didnt allow yourself
to be freed from
whatever you're
grappling with.
there's just this one
last chance. If you
continue to run away
from this healing
process,there's nothing
leftfor me to do but
walk away.
Friday.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007 + 8:23 PM
on Sunday :
at 2AM, lo and behold,
rayson soh calls and tell
me that im supposed to go
down and play squash with
Raj, Yh and Erich at 10.
yea. so it's literally
last minute notification.
got as much slp as i could,
overslept ( =PPPP ) and
went at 11. learnt court moves
for rallying alr. totally
shagged after the session.
rushed upstairs to bathe and
change, then rushed down
cos Levin alr drove right to
my lobby waiting for me.
so rushed tt i wore my belt
the wrong way =X
church was alright, had
cell meeting. afterwards i
went to Simei, bought
Mashed Potatoes from
EastPt KFC. there was
some Ms S'pore Universe
event going on, and so
many onlookers (mostly
male). So off i went
to CGH with the mashed
potatoes and visited
my grand-dad. helped
him with the food
and stayed for awhile
before going off to
meet the OG peeps for
BBQ @ ECP. rather alright,
though i have to be
apologetic that i wasnt in
the best of moods.
a very big thankyou to
TOH SIEW BOON that was
beside me all along,
listening and trying
to give advice. and
for listening to all the
emo songs on my iPod with
me.
towards the end i was
sitting at the beach gazing
at the sea&skies. thanks
for the girls that came and
sit with me, esp. Jayne for
asking and talking with me.
shared a cab with them,
carmen gave me 50bucks cos
she didnt have change so
i would return her 40 on
the next day.
Monday:
went to bedok and met them agn.
ate at the hawker centre next
to the interchange. had quite
a feast i guess? then we
proceeded to the main event
of the day: Buying pajamas for
SB's PJ Birthday Party =P
the girls chanced upon this
stall and bought theirs.
the guys' pjs were so ex so
mengseng and i didnt buy.
then we went to Parkway to
find, Giant didnt sell.
went to the foodcourt
for desert& rest. proceeded
to 77th Street where
i got my ear pierced.
quite alright this time
around, wasnt that afraid.
but that guy stunned me!
didnt even tell me when
he was about to trigger
the punch-gun. Jayne
took down a video of
the process and i
blue-toothed it to my
phone. went to the
shops outside PP and
since we got sick and
tired of finding PJs,
i just thought of wearing
girls' PJs. =PP chose the
most manly looking one,
and paid 6 for it.
and on that day, there
goes my reputation =(
after buying i left
for CGH again, waited
for mum and dad to come
and left tgt.
Today:
got a "wake-up call"
from Ms Tan, she told
me abt the PW stuff and
also to go and submit the
cheque for the O Lvl Fees.
walked out of G.O, saw
Clement and his PW Grp at
the study benches.
went over to chat for
awhile. then went home to
get my wallet. we waited
for rayson, who took eons,
before going to white sands
for a bite before playing
CS at CrossFire. afterwards
went to Compasspoint for
eating (again) before going
home.
overall these few days were
fun. looking forward to
first Squash Team Training
on Thurs after sch, as well
as the upcoming Squash League.
im gonna aim to win 4 out of 4
matches =)oh and of course,
SB's Party on Friday!!!
it's gonna be back to the
good ol' days of
Booze&LateNightMovies =)))
